Excerpt from Ascension Day.

And so the world is flat after all… And here I am at the very edge of it.

I am overwhelmed by the feeling that I have been here before, that perhaps even, I have been waiting here… forever? Or if not forever, for many thousands of years, since long before a time we knew with all certainty that the world was round. A time before science or society as we now know them, a time when a person could yield completely to their own instincts. And perhaps this was the journey’s end, our worlds last harbor, a stage from which a person could fall, or jump, or throw themselves off and into God knows what.

And perhaps all those incalculable years ago I had left myself, or part of myself, here at this point to act as a milestone or a reminder to my future self that this was in effect, the edge of our world.

And so it is, somehow, that I find myself again at this point, out of my mind, out of body, out of context, tempted as I am by an archaic yearning for self-destruction which was always whispering to me from beyond this liminal point.

But instead of my own end I am faced with this reminder of my having been to these extremities before, at another time. And perhaps now for the first time I am meeting or merging with that part of myself, a part I’d never dared to imagine had existed. A third I - not Benjamin or Sasha but a part that is ancient, eternal even, a part which transcends names or moments or stories or reality or even time itself.

And perhaps it was by divine intervention that I had found that part of myself today, on the Ascension day of all days. Or perhaps it was by fine chance, or by own free will, even. Whatever the reason, that reminder was left here as a warning to myself to stop me from falling or jumping and throwing away this life of mine before I’ve had the chance to really sink my teeth into it…